Church Bulletin
by Agent Midnight
Summary: Really bad ficlet ^_^ sligtht humor, immaturity on Heero's part-- the church down the street from me really have bulletin's like this.


Heero brought his car to a screeching halt outside of the small Methodist church that Duo had volunteered at. He turned the engine off with a small huff and waited for his braided friend to finish up his job so they could go home. The radio's time read 4:12, about six minutes before Duo said he would be finished, so Heero relaxed back in the driver's seat and fixed his eyes on the church's huge double doors, silently wishing them to open and let his friend out early.  
  
Boredom sank in quickly.  
  
He started counting grass blades, pretending he was laying on the ground with his eye pressed against the dirt to see the small individual objects better. Two squirrels starred in his mental action movie called "Fluffy Lovin'" while they ran cheerfully around a pine tree next to the church grounds. Detective Fluff ran after Machine Wash Tail'man, the villian, after Mr. Machine stole the Detective's nuts.  
  
"Oh, no... no, no, no. Machine has my nuts..." Starting the main action scene. The ending chase scene that wakes everyone up again.  
  
His furry action movie turned into a porn, and Heero wisely made himself stop focusing on that portion of his boredom.  
  
Redirecting his gaze back to the church, he spent three whole minutes of studying the multi-colored stained glass windows, first playing I-Spy, and then moving to another game.  
  
"I will find you, Waldo." Flicking his gaze across Jesus and Mary, a couple of angels, and some townfolk. "Where are you, Waldo, you stupid bitch?"  
  
Unable to find the red-clad man with the dark glasses, the Japanese youth sneered and fixed his gaze on one of the window scenes.  
  
"Must be in the crib. No fair, Waldo. You aren't supposed to hide in cribs."  
  
The bulletin board that had gone unnoticed by Heero's watchful eyes was now the center of his attention as he stared at the black lettering in shock. Going so far as to rub his eyes and make himself re-read the lettering, Heero felt a tiny smirk creep onto his lips as the words sank in a second time.  
  
"That is terrible."  
  
His voice was laced with humor as he spoke to himself in the confines of the car, no longer interested in the return of his friend. His bored expression changed quickly to one of amusement as he stared at the bulletin board, allowing a small chuckle to spill from his lips.  
  
"Who would think of such a thing?"  
  
He sighed deeply and chuckled again, repeating the phrase in his head a couple of times before silently thanking whatever god out there that he hadn't gone into the church and started baying out laughter during mass. He realized he would have read it as he got out of his car, gone inside and sat on the pew in the very back like he always did, and he would have started laughing as the words sank into his mind and made themselves clear.  
  
Everyone would have done that dramatic turning you see in the movies and he would have been the center of attention.  
  
He would've had to look at them all, and through the embarrassment, speak the words on the white-backed bulletin board.  
  
"This church is prayer conditioned."  
  
Thinking it outloud, Heero snarfed out laughter in the car, glad for the distraction.  
  
"Prayer... conditioned..." And he laughed harder, shocked at the mawkishness of the phrase. "so... dumb..."  
  
The car door opened and closed and he found himself staring directly into Duo's startled expression. Wordlessly, he lifted his hand and pointed over the steering wheel at the bulletin board. Nodding, Duo allowed his own laughter to fill the car, amused by Heero's obvious enjoyment of the joke.  
  
"They needed something clever; I gave it to them."  
  
Heero fanned himself slowly to try and force some of the heat from his face.  
  
"I take it you like?"  
  
A small nod.  
  
"Good. I thought it was cute. It's better than last week's."  
  
Starting the car with another laugh, his eyes still glued to the bulletin board, Heero finally allowed himself to look at his friend.  
  
"And what was it?"  
  
"God has the world in his Psalm."  
  
The two allowed themselves the pleasure of immature laughter again, slapping their thighs like little kids while trying to regain their regular breathing patterns again.  
  
Duo calmed first.  
  
"The church was really hot earlier, and I was starting to wish they had an air conditioner... and that popped out."  
  
Heero looked at the sign once more before starting to drive towards their house, a snicker spilling from both of them every now and then as they peeked over at each other through the corners of their eyes.  
  
"You're going to have to help me think of some more, Heero. The church really likes them."  
  
"Prayer conditioned..." Snort. "You're such an idiot, Duo." 


End file.
